I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I fill condoms, not promises.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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