What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
