i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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