Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
