Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
