You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
