Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
