I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
