You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
