Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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