i need an iv and a liver transplant
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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