woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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