He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize