I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
im six kinds of drunk right now
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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