belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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