my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
