Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I checked into jail on foursquare
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
