hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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