And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
