No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
