I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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