You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
