I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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