My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
