Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
sex in a hospital.. check
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
