I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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