Where did you get a picture of my penis
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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