You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
the day after is always just damage control
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
