Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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