the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
