Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Randomize
