Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
