I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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