I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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