At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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