Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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