While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
