Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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