Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Randomize
