The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Randomize
