I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Are we still banned from the library?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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