I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
