My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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