when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
