I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
