All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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