I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
