How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
