Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
