One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
