So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
