i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
