I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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