On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I stole a fireplace last night.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
