im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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