And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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