You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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