ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
