your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
