We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
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