Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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