Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
