you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
