It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
